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For that reason, I’m not going to try to explain it (though I admit I’ve tried in many of these posts), because it can’t be explained–at least in a way that would actually be helpful.Despite all of this, from this experience I did have one insight I want to share–something I already “knew,” but now see at a deeper, more visceral, more profound level. It doesn’t actually mean is actually an attempt to describe what I’ve already said can’t be described.It’s a kind of code-word amongst those who have had the experience.You could, I suppose, call it “no-thing-ness,” because in this state it’s very clear that there are no separate things, that everything is interconnected and all divisions are unreal–other than in a conceptual sense. In this state conceptualizations seem silly, unnecessary, inconsequential, and not pertinent to what really . It just seems like a lot of effort serving no real purpose.Maybe you’ll get it once you get a job, establish a career, accumulate some money.Climb the success ladder, and shifts to “if I meditate long enough,” “if I find the right teacher,” “if I read enough spiritual books,” “if I say my mantra for enough years,” “if I finish koan study,” “if I experience grace,” “if I please God,” “if I get rid of desires,” “if I study the Bible,” “if I read all Ken Wilber’s books,” and so on.When you’re in touch with this emptiness (or, I should say, when you realize that you this emptiness), you see the truth of what all the sages, Zen masters, and enlightened beings have said: there really is nowhere to go, and nothing to get.In fact, even if there were something to get, there’s no separate entity who could go anywhere to get it.

When you have such an experience you also find that it’s impossible to communicate this knowingness in a way that anyone could possibly understand–unless they, too, have had the experience.All the while, you’re swimming in it, and you always have been.Now, I’m not saying that all seminars are bullshit, or that all teachers are conning you.When you “see how it all is” in this way, your map seems so skinny and insubstantial it’s hard to believe you built your life around it. It’s like mistaking a stick-figure for the real you, or a one paragraph biography for the story of your life.This realization–that pretty much everything you’ve hung your hat on for your entire life is insubstantial, partial, and largely irrelevant–is life-changing.

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Does this remind you of a donkey trotting after a carrot? Because you’re trying to get something–whatever that indefinable something is–that you actually already have (or, to be more accurate, which you already ).

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